For the record, I have no idea what possessed me to don such facial hair. Rest assured it is dead, and has been for years. Additionally, I'm not really sure why we went to gay bingo. I guess it's just what we do.
So, one day, Sean calls me up after browsing the newspaper for events and things to do. He says, "Hey, there's this gay bingo in Fort Lauderdale. Wanna go? It's 70's-themed."
"Gay bingo?" I replied. "Sure, we're not doing anything else."
Thus another adventure was born.
Before we get started, I'd like you to meet our historian for the evening, Seth. He's traditionally been a hallucinogen enthusiast, and praised as one of the more eccentric characters in our adventures. I believe this is the first adventure we were fortunate enough to almost completely chronicle with a digital camera (unlike some of the most legendary from Europe, which were before the digital revolution).
Ok, so, we set out for Fort Lauderdale, passing such reputable establishments as "Gay Mart" (I'm not kidding), until finally arriving at our destination: The Gay and Lesbian Community Center. After paying our dues by purchasing the bingo cards and markers (I got purple), we're ready to get down and dirty with our flambuoyant friends.
Here's Sean, mastermind of the event, looking rather spiffy in his matching vest and fedora combo. You can smell the anticipation in the air; everyone is raring to stamp their way to victory.
Seth could hardly contain himself, and set immediately to stamping everything in reach.
After a brief introduction, we learned that this lady would be the bingo caller for the night. You really cannot make this sort of thing up.
Any winners? Probably not :(
Seth opted for style, grabbing a marker made out to look like some bastardized Frosty the Snowman.
These are two of the coordinator's asses. They were also judges for the fashion contest.
Host attached to aforementioned ass.
Prideful sponsors handling raffle tickets and prizes for the fashion show.
Another shot of quite possibly the most distinguished bingo caller in history.
The tension builds as noone has completed a winning card...
Frosty lost his hat! Also, my Cow Shirt™.
Nothing could stop my purple-headed warrior from marking bingo numbers, but unfortunately, he didn't mark any winners.
Break time! What better to inaugurate the flaming festivities than corn dogs?
Sean brushes up on his sexcreational literature.
Word-of-mouth increased their circulation rapidly.
This lovely transvestite came on stage, breathing huskily "I just got out of 7 years in the army." You know, as a guy. I try valiantly to avoid any eye contact, fearing a close encounter with those hormone-induced ta-ta's.
[S]he strikes a pose for the bemused masses.
Oh, what a crowd pleaser! Shake what your momma gave you!
Bemused by the events, and finishing his issue of Sex, Etc., Seth provides some social commentary, courtesy of Scooter, the Frosty Snowman.
Coming back to the fashion show, there were hushed accounts of some contest, centered around the 'best dressed' of the evening according to the 70's theme. During the bingo gaming, an official came over and asked who Seth was, how he was doing, etc., before scurrying off to fiddle with raffles. It turns out that Seth actually won for the event, and even got a $20 gift certificate to an adult toystore. Here's the award ceremony:
GLCC knows their bingo.. and rainbow pride flags.
This man was so elated by the excitement, he had to cover himself.
Another luvverly transvesite, who dazzled us with his/her vocal prowess.
A raffle prize sits innocently as our bingo caller is solicited by a marauding transvestite.
According to Seth, I am the living dead. Can't argue with that.
All in all, it was a very fun evening. I have to say, gay people are far more promiscuous than any social group I've ever known. We heard more witty sexual quips in those few hours than all the Will and Grace citcoms combined. This bingo is evidently a monthly event, with others along the lines of 'Beach Attire.' The marker still rests in my car, waiting for another opportunity. Who knows what the future holds?